I will start by saying I am not a bible type religion person . I do like some things about it though . One of them is Lent . Why Lent ? You might ask , well I like to torcher myself . I like the idea that you give a up something that you really enjoy for a few weeks . I few years back I gave up fast food , It is not that I loved or enjoyed fast food it was that it was easy . It was hard for me to learn how to cook for one person so it was a easy fix . In the few weeks I gave it up I learned a lot about cooking and myself .It is now a expeirance I look forward to each year . I have been thinking what I will give up this year . My choices are getting slimer each year . I try not to repeat . I was thinking T.V. but with going through treatment I don't think that is realistic and I don't like to set my self up for failure . I thought maybe texting , hahaha yea right ! I am not that sadistic to myself . Then maybe no sweets , but I think I will have to save that for next year , I need ice cream to get me through treatment . ( I can't help it have you tried the Oatmeal cookie or the Peach's for Willie Nelson from Tom and Jerry's ? ) So I have decieded to go with no fried food . I think it will be the best choice and still a little bit hard . There are so many things that you eat that you don't think of as being fried . Like a snack favorite for me tortilla chips - fried , Thai , Korean , Mexican , Vetimesse , and American - fried . I was looking through my now Encylopedia Bertanica size treament books and handouts and they all tell me to eat lots and lots of fresh veggies and fruits , so I might as well make a game out of it . See how long I can go with out . What are you going to try ? - I really want to know ! Give me ideas form year sto come ! That and I find it interesting on how and why people pick what they do .
The whole Whitacre family went up to Seattle Cancer Care Alliance with me today to meet a another doctor whom with my radialogist had been in constent contact with over my treatment . I was going to be finding out if they were going to treat me in Seattle or in Tacoma . Well it is both . Yes both . I will now be getting Radiation treatment 4 to 5 times a week and Kemo once a week for the next 7 to 8 weeks . BLAH !!! I have to admit I never saw the kemo aspect coming . What does that entail now for me . Well the likely hood of my hair growing back are less =( I know right ! Out of all the stuff that can go wrong I am worried that I wil be bald . I don't even have that great of hair . No one ever says ' Wow I wish I had your hair !" haha but I have become kinda attached to it over the years . I am still excited about the wigs but I thought that at some point I would get my hair back . I think I will get my hair back .... I have to think that . Thinking that stimulates the hair folicals , and when that happens it make syour hair grow . I am an optimistic . Really though what it means is that the cancer cells will most likely be all destroyed . Kemo therapy is a shot that they give you . Anyone who has seen me in the last 2 months has seen my I.V. bruises and the never coming off tape marks from them . I never was afraid of needles befor this , I still would not say I am afraid maybe apperhensive of getting pricked . I also will have more blood test and other stuff that involves getting poked . With all this needle work going on in my arms they are worried that my vains might give up on them . The solution is to get a port put in . A port is a small permanent ( they take it out at the end of treatment ) I.V. hook up . They keep you awake for the procejure ! ( Oy ! I might need some gas . ) The port will be placed under my skin either on the right or left side of my chest it has a " tail " that will be fed in to one of my main veins . The top of the port is a small circle about the size of a nickel and the edges are raised slightly . The center is a kinda plastic/sponge material that prevents blood from coming out on it's own . They still will have to go through the skin but it won't be as hard on me as when they try my arms , I tend to stop breathing right before the prick me . When you stop breathing you veins drop down or " hide " . at this point the nurse might try and poke after it or be sneeky and not tell you the next time they go to put the needle in .
Oh yeah and you thought your drugs had bad side effects , I think I will take a few of some of the other drugs out theres side effects over some of the ones I will get during Kemo . One of the my cause my hands and feet to " fall asleep " - become numb and or limp !!! Thats right I could loss the movement to my hands and/or feet . Who the hell aproved that drug ?! I mean really ! I want to know at what extent to they say oooohhh noooo that is to terrible for any one to endure we can not allow that . I am suppose to tell my doctor if I get numb feeling in my feet or hands right away . Duh that will not be a problem . I am in awe at what they allow . Yet at the same time thankful and amazed that they are able to treat and make me better . I think that I am just starting to get scared . The unknown is always a leap of faith not always just in your self but in others too . I am thankful that I still have faith in man kind .
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You bring up a point your dad and I laugh at often on tv. When drugs list their possible drawbacks and have contradictory symptoms... may cause diarrhea/constipation, or things no one wants... you may pass-out, experience dizziness, fatigue, weakness, confusion, etc. and ends with "may be life threatening". What is that all about? You are right... who decides what is okay for a drug? Gives one cause to pause and think.
ReplyDeleteYour dad does enjoy the one that says "with erections lasting longer than four hours consult your physician..." you dad says, " They must be kidding, I'll call my friends." Ya gotta love him...
Fried Food? wow, that would be difficult ! I gave up caffeine. I'm not a coffee drinker, but i drink diet coke like there's no tomorrow. Today is my first day and it's been hell already. ha@! i'm weak i know, but generally i have peanut butter toast and diet coke for breakfast. ugh. I was raised catholic (my parents meant well seriously) so i have given up lots over the years. We had a priest that finally told us it didn't have to be food (thank god) so we gave up our time after that and volunteered at nursing homes or the union gospel mission. Anyway, just wanted to send good thoughts up your way. You're a trooper and have such a great sense of humor ! Jeri WWW
ReplyDeleteHi Liz, I don't know if you remember me, but I was good friends with Karyn in High School. I have a TERRIBLE memory...but I used to go over to your house all the time!! I totally remember your mom and dad too! :-) Anyway, I love your blog - its like you're famous now - you have 39 followers plus all the others like me (who follow unofficially). :-) Whether you remember me or not, I'm here for you girl!! I live in San Diego but I wish I was closer so I could help you or Karyn if you needed anything. However, I guess I can help by being a way for you two to take a vacation when you need it! :-) Come down for a visit any time! Anyway Liz, I wish you the smoothest journey going forward. I'm gonna friend you on FB. And, again, whether you remember me or not, xoxoxo Waiting for your next blog post... ;-) ~Kris Smith (used to be Nelson)
ReplyDeleteWow, Liz, Sorry to hear you will be a "chemo buddy" They use so many different kinds of chemo now. The dr's tend to tell you the worst case scenario, which everything they say doesn't always happen. They told me to cut my hair because it would fall out for sure! Thank god, it didn't, but I was prepared for it. The anti-nausea drugs they give you help alot. I had the "port-thangie"(as I called it) it makes it a lot eaiser for treatment and blood work, they can pull the blood through it a lot fasted than your arm. Please beaware right after you get it, If you feel any pains in your neck, go right to the dr. I developed a blood clot from having it put in, boy that was painfull.I let it go because I kept thinking the pain would go away. Finally, emergency cat scan and blood clod discovered. Also they can put you out for the input and outtake of it, They tried to tell me I would be awake too, I told them they were going to have a hard time catching me if they didn't knock me out! So they did. It is better than having a needle stuck in your arm though. Also before chemo ask about fertility issues. I guess cause I was older with kids no one bothered to tell me the type of chemo they gave me would put me into what thet call "chemo-induced-menopause" I would have never though to ask this question. I know how you feeling right now, It's scary as F$#k! But like everything so far just take it one step at a time, and try to not get to overwhelmed by it. Your going to be fine again, you just need to take a little journy first. Keep up you humor, it is more important now than ever. Your a real trooper, stay strong. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteLove,Kassie
Hi Lizzie,
ReplyDeleteYour opening and ending statements said the most to me about what you are facing. You open saying you are not a Bible religion person, but you do Lent. Let me clarify just a little that the Bible isn't about religion, but about history and God. People have formed religion from it. One of them is Catholicism. Lent is a Catholic ritual meant as a reminder to people of Christ's Resurrection. Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the Season of Lent. It is a season of penance, reflection, and fasting which prepares us for Christ’s Resurrection on Easter Sunday, through which we attain redemption. It is always a good cleansing excercize for the body, mind and spirit to give up a vice and fast. With this clarity comes reflection, and draws one closer in touch with their spirit and enables them to hear from God. Which brings us to your ending statement. You are finally realizing fear, and this is good, because with true fear comes faith, if you make the choice to believe. "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen." Hebrews 11:1 This is a true statement, right out of the Bible. By believing, you can believe good things into existence. Christ also said with faith no bigger than a mustard seed you can move a mountain. Your cancer is the mountain. You have the faith. Recognize that the good that is in mankind comes from God, and it is the Almighty who holds the endless universe and all us little dust particles in His hand. He made us, He knows us by name, and we are His dear little creatures. You've heard of miracles, in fact you are already one of them! Continue to shine. Give your fear over to a higher power and rest knowing that you will be protected from the poisons injected into your veins, that your hair will grow back better than ever, and when it is all over and done, you will have been conditioned to eat a healthy diet! You are such a brave, brave young person, and you will be such a help to so many who will walk in your shoes in years to come. Forgive me if I sound preaching at all, but I tell you what I know from my own life experience and knowledge, and it is true--I would not offer you a crock when you need something real. By the way, giving up fried is an excellent choice. A word of caution when you are done with lent, you can look at the type of oils used in the frying of foods you wish to eat. Certain types of chips are healthy and others are not. Choose the ones cooked in non-hydrogenated oil. That is a key word. As far as Asian stir-fries go, they should be healthy, depends on the quality of the venue; and in Mexican you need to be concerned about the lard in the refried beans. Some restaurants are diet sensitive and have fat free, which taste better, in my opinion. Homemade refried beans are awesome and easy to do.
Hang in there babe, and dream beautiful dreams.
Hugs to your Heart, Diana