Blood transfusion

Well today I sit in T.G. on the 4th floor getting a blood transfusion . I find it weird and kinda gross . I think of blood as a personal thing . I mean it runs through my veins my heart it helps power my thoughts , when mad it boils , when scorned by someone it turns cold , when in love it tingles the rest of the senses making knees go weak . I know it sounds dumb that out of all the stuff I have had to have done to me in the last 8 months that this one is the one that bothers me the most . The nurses have done a good job making me feel better about the whole deal . Even though I still have my reserves about the whole thing .

I understand the expression blue blood better now also . The blood I was given today looked almost purple-ish . The lady next to me had a blueish tint to it . I asked her what her blood type was ( I can't remember now ) but it was different then mine . So I am curious if different blood types have different hues to them .... the mind reels ....

Chemo coma

Well I have slept almost the whole entire last week away . No matter what I do I feel like I am about to pass out . I hate it . I cant get anything done . I was going to go to a wedding reception on Sunday , slept through the whole thing . It like I fall into a coma or something as soon as I fall asleep .

In news in the small . Mom and Dad are preparing for a huge spaghetti feed at their house . Sister has been over there helping a lot . I can't do much in their house . It tires me out after about the 3rd trip up or down the stairs , I need about a 2 hour nap . So I did small stuff folded laundry , loaded dish washer , and made lunch .

Mom is almost more than 3/4 ths done with the deck !! It looks amazing !! She has had some help from various people over the last month but for the most part she has done most of it herself . I hope I have that much energy ..... anytime soon ! =)

SCCA with mom ......

Karyn thought she might have to work this Friday so I took that and found someone else who could afford a whole day off and kinda needed one , my mom . Sister was beside herself . She looks and me and exclaims " Now I miss out on the movie !! " . I forget sometimes it's all about her . haha .

I reminded Mom at least 4 times " what time are you ogoing to pick me up ? " she would say "6:30 " Now this is important because mom has been known to not go to bed until then . Well she was at a friends house with dad having a ball . Mom normally does not drink but she had the idea that if she had a few glasses that she would be out like a light . Well her theory was right . Still slightly groggy she stammered her way through the house looking for her purse , keys , computer , AND cellphone . At 6;45 I call the house to find out if she has left . Dad replies sheepishly " She left 5 minutes ago ! " . I sit out on the porch for 10 minutes waiting for her . She shows up , I get in the car and she launches into her excuse like a 15 who came home late . We start down the street well at the end of the block she makes a left instead of a right . I said why are we going this way she said " I don't have my computer ! " I shoot her this look like you have got to be KIDDING ME ! Then she turns onto 6th I thought she did this for she knows how much I hate the road on Union . NOPE she needed to get gas ! I had given her 20 bucks the night before and reminded her that she should stop on her way to home depot . I give her my look again , She says that she didn't have time . Dad was yanking at her to hurry because they were going to late for dinner . Well she has me call dad when we hit 21st street so he could bring out her computer .

Well I kinda have that panic feeling when you wake up late and you look at the time and realize that you have to be at work in 5 minutes . I hate that feeling ! It's completly inocent but you can't help but have that pain in your gut . Mom drove and she might of even sped . I won't say if she did or didn't but I made my blood draw with only being 10 minutes late . She made it up here in about 25 minutes ! haha go mom !

IN the treatment room mom kicks back in the recliner and now is snoring next to me . Like I said she needed a day off . She has been kicking butt working on the deck . It is looking amezing ! I can't wait to see it all done . With her new post and all of dads tomato plants . IT should look good , real good .

Wow almost a month .... sorry

I haven't been a very good blogger lately sorry . I would think about it but then when I would start I would just feel drained or writters block . It sometimes is a challenge for me to do stuff . hnkcvx ( that was Raini saying " Meow " to you all .)

I made through this last round of treatment feeling a bit more drained than normal . After a few days of only sleeping I started to feel better . I even felt good enough to attend the 6th art walk . It was a nice day and I went with people that were willing to go at my pace . It can be a hard thing to do for some . On the ave I was excited to see people I normally don't get to see .

This last weekend I went with 22 other fabulous ladies to Moclips and rented a beach house had a bon fire , made smores , went to the casino , watched sis and lolo on the go-carts , went to the grocery store ( bawhahaha way better than walmart watching it was like condensed walmart you will have to see for yourself ) got my but kicked alll weekend in spite and malice , and a lil in cribbage . The other girls ran around did their hair ( tear ) , Donna gave a make-up class and sold some Mary Kay . The food was awesome ! Had some monkey bread for the 1st time it was good !!! In my opinion the only thing it needed was peacans then I might of stole the pan and locked my self in the bedroom till it was all gone !
Had great conversations met one of the funniest girls I think I have met in years SQUIRREL !!!! Bonded with some charished friends and made some new great memories ! Got to know a few of the other ladies better and even had a chance to make a new friend or two .

While all of that was a blast ! I have spent the last few days recoping . I would say in the activity department I didn't do much but in the socializing aspect of things I did a ton ! I never realized how draining it was for me . I felt kinda bad we were all standing arouind talking about the weekend and all the sudden my inner " turkey is done button " poped out and I looked at the girls and said it's time ! I kinda felt like a 5 year old .

I have my long treatment this friday and I am going up to Seattle with mom . She plans on doing something to computer while I get treatment . We shall see how it goes .

As the treatment turns

I have treatment tomorrow , hopefully , if my blood cells have balanced out I will . Last week I wasn't able to be treated . My dr. was afraid due to my levels . He told me that he wants to kill the tumor cells and cancer not me . ( My Dr. is a bit OCD about dirt and a few other things ) I told him if he killed me I would haunt him by leaving crumbs every where he went . He said well in that case I will make sure I don't do that then . Then whispered under his breath ' crumbs " followed by a slight chill . He talked about my treatment for a little bit then noticed that Sister wasn't there . He asked me if I came alone I said " No , my mom is getting a cold so I made her wait outside so I don't get sick " He looked at me and said " outside like in the car ? or the waiting room ? " I said " the waiting room " He looked outraged then said " So to save yourself , you put 20 other people in harms way ?" I looked at him weird and then realized what he ment and said " Well , I guess I just didn't think of it that way .... I should though ..... If my system is doing bad I should consider everyone elses is bad too " The he added " it's good that you think of your health the way you do " So I left my appointment feeling kinda like a jerk to everyone in the waiting , felt like I should of gotton all of them an icecream to say sorry . It was a learning day .

This last week was a kinda a good week . I slept alot and my tummy didn't hurt as much . I've been a little light headed lately but I think that might have something to do with the large amounts of coffee that I consume to keep me up and movin .

I was trying to helpful and put some stuff away in the kitchen and the stupid light in the kitchen kept attacking me ! It would just pop up out of no where and hit me in the back of the head . The 1st time in almost put me on my ass . I had to make myself sit down for a second . I went back to it and hit my head like 3 more times . Well the next morning I was using a mirror to see if I had a bruise or any lumps . I thought I saw 2 areas that looked bruised . I asked Sister o take a look . She starts laughing at me and ask me to point to the areas again . She laughs even harder and informs me that the areas that I thought were bruises were areas that were starting to grow hair ! I have to admit I felt conflicted , excited to have hair growning but paniced because it was growning in like a badly scorched yard . I know it's just hair and their are worst things not to have after everything I have been through , but damit ! I like having my own hair ! I fear when I let it grow out I will have to do a comb over . Or I might have to have wigs for the rest of my life . That is the kinda stuff that trouble me the parts of me that will be permanetly effected by the treatment and from the tumor .

1st day of 2nd round

Well tomorrow I will begin my 2nd round of chemo ! Woooohooo ! Mom has the pleasure of taking me . We will leave Tacoma at 8ish am and be up there till about 5 or 6 . I hopefully will be feeling well enough after all the drugs to make it to the lighting of the luminaries at Relay for Life . It's one of my favorites . I like Relay because it just isn't for one type of cancer . It is a cause for all cancer . I have brain cancer . I look up stuff to educate my self and it seems that when ever I do I run into a boob . Everything thing tends to pretain to breast cancer . I am not saying that boobs aren't a good cause and I am not bitter because I think mine are small , I just find it annoying .

Enough of that ! I am getting to far into my own head ! Haha . Living with Sister is interesting . I am making my own little space but I think it will take me awhile to have it feel like home . When I tell people where I am I still say Sister's house . Not my new place . I think it will come . I was driving with mom the other day and I said mine and sister's place and mom looked at me and said that it sounded forced . I am adjusting . Sister is doing a great job of trying to adjust also . I tend to make her cat take more naps than she normally does so Raini has been on a few midnight rampages at Karyn's expense . While I sleep nice an sound up stairs with the door close .

It is June and the weather is that of may or april . I have to admit I love it when it rains super hard and the sound it makes on the roof . I also enjoy I good thunder storm . I see the dark clouds roll in and I get some what excited . I know I will sleep well as soon as it starts to rain . I have tried the tapes of rain and other nature sounds but they don't work they sound well recorded . I planted a bunch of flowers last week when it was nice an now I wonder if I planted them too soon . I hope that they grow and bloom . I am trying plants I have never had before this year . I have artichoke , sweet peas , yellow squash , and some wild flower mix that helps the bee population . I am so courious to know if the bee one works . That and I hear if you dont prune the artichokes to eat that they bloom into an amazing looking flower . The hard part is going to be not wanting to eat them .... I might just have to only let 1 bloom ....

Beginning of the 2nd set of Chemo: 3rd treatment

Today I took Elizabeth to have her hearing tested. Because her protocol uses platinum Dr. Chamberlain wanted to get a base-line hearing test. The use of this element can cause hearing loss and they want to monitor it closely. So the results were... very good hearing.

After the test we had agreed to stop at the Burger Barn on Custar Rd in Lakewood. I was very hungry, having only gotten up just before I picked up Elizabeth... she wanted to take the food back home to eat... but I whined and we had a picnic at the drive in. We raised our burgers as a toast to "Grambo", my mom's nickname. It was one of the places she liked to take the kids when they were small for burgers. I love those tie-ins. Being a military family we traveled hither and yon and didn't have "history" with places. We had traditions, but not a memory of places. So it was fun for me to recognize this as a remembrance of my mom.

We talked about Elizabeth's new move in with Karyn and how she enjoys planning dinner for them. She was doing meatloaf and was inspired by the thoughts of meatloaf sandwiches later. I must admit that hearing her describe how she was going to make it made me think it was sounding like a very yummy idea.

But I came home and worked a bit on my deck, placing two tall posts where shorter ones had been and making ready to do the railings. I have a lot to get done and this week promises to have good weather to do it in.

Friday I will take Elizabeth to Seattle for her last in this series of chemo. It will be a long one— lasting up to 8 hours. There is a lot to it. She has already alerted her aunt, Vanessa, to come visit and watch a movie. Her aunt is a cancer survivor and has had liver replacement (due to HepC). She is doing interferon to help rid her of the dreaded disease; and it seems to be working! So that is encouraging. Friday will be a lot of talking and then a lot of sleeping. Everyone seems to nap in this family. I need one. I've been have insomnia issues lately and do not get to sleep until 4 and 5 AM. This isn't healthy for me. I was reading that it can actually cause diabetes if you mess with your inner clock. So I'm going to give that much more attention.

Elizabeth is doing well, she isn't too hungry as she feel poorly if she eats too much and many foods have odd flavors. She is happy with the whole second floor at Karyn's and even put up a mail box for herself at 3615 1/2! Gotta love it. Oh, the address is 3615 1/2 South 9th, 98405... if you want her new address and don't already know it. Her phone is the same.

Thank you for your interest in her well being. It makes me feel very good to know so many are praying for her and wishing her well. She is a wonderful daughter and we wish she didn't have this challenge, but since she does she is facing it with grace and humor. Take care of yourselves.

Elizabeth's Mom, Kathryn