As the treatment turns

I have treatment tomorrow , hopefully , if my blood cells have balanced out I will . Last week I wasn't able to be treated . My dr. was afraid due to my levels . He told me that he wants to kill the tumor cells and cancer not me . ( My Dr. is a bit OCD about dirt and a few other things ) I told him if he killed me I would haunt him by leaving crumbs every where he went . He said well in that case I will make sure I don't do that then . Then whispered under his breath ' crumbs " followed by a slight chill . He talked about my treatment for a little bit then noticed that Sister wasn't there . He asked me if I came alone I said " No , my mom is getting a cold so I made her wait outside so I don't get sick " He looked at me and said " outside like in the car ? or the waiting room ? " I said " the waiting room " He looked outraged then said " So to save yourself , you put 20 other people in harms way ?" I looked at him weird and then realized what he ment and said " Well , I guess I just didn't think of it that way .... I should though ..... If my system is doing bad I should consider everyone elses is bad too " The he added " it's good that you think of your health the way you do " So I left my appointment feeling kinda like a jerk to everyone in the waiting , felt like I should of gotton all of them an icecream to say sorry . It was a learning day .

This last week was a kinda a good week . I slept alot and my tummy didn't hurt as much . I've been a little light headed lately but I think that might have something to do with the large amounts of coffee that I consume to keep me up and movin .

I was trying to helpful and put some stuff away in the kitchen and the stupid light in the kitchen kept attacking me ! It would just pop up out of no where and hit me in the back of the head . The 1st time in almost put me on my ass . I had to make myself sit down for a second . I went back to it and hit my head like 3 more times . Well the next morning I was using a mirror to see if I had a bruise or any lumps . I thought I saw 2 areas that looked bruised . I asked Sister o take a look . She starts laughing at me and ask me to point to the areas again . She laughs even harder and informs me that the areas that I thought were bruises were areas that were starting to grow hair ! I have to admit I felt conflicted , excited to have hair growning but paniced because it was growning in like a badly scorched yard . I know it's just hair and their are worst things not to have after everything I have been through , but damit ! I like having my own hair ! I fear when I let it grow out I will have to do a comb over . Or I might have to have wigs for the rest of my life . That is the kinda stuff that trouble me the parts of me that will be permanetly effected by the treatment and from the tumor .