and the beat goes on

Well I wasn't able to be treated this last Friday due to my low blood counts . My white cells were at 3.71 and they have to be above 10 to get treated . My Doc didn't want me to have another blood transfusion yet so we are giving it a week or two to see if the cells get better . Fingers crossed .

I also Had a CT scan . THey did a non contrast scan and one with . My brain is looking good ! It is weird almost awkward looking inside yourself that way . The area where the tumor was has filled with cf fluid and looks like I know have a black hole ! The good thing is is that there was no whitish / grayish out line where the tumor was nor any thing new . Yippy !!

My few weeks off this last time one of them I spent with the family down at SunRiver . It was nice . I was glad family friend / sudo sister Emily came with us . It gave sister some one to do all high energy type things with . Plus she picks on my dad ! haha he needs and deserves it ! It builds his character .... like he needs more .... I was able to walk around with my mom and not feel frustrated ( she walks slower than I do ) I feel bad but my natural gait is about twice as fast as hers . So when I was healthy it feels awkward to slow your walk and keep it slow . On the same page it feels weird not to be able to walk 4 miles in an hour . So when walking with certian friends I feel like the kid who almost has to runn to keep up - I should just get a wheel chair and my fast friends can push me around =) . I can take off my scarrf and feel the wind in my face as my " patchy hair growth " blows in the breeze . haha .

More blood stuff

I had a blood draw today it went well . My counts are up and things are looking good . I go in for treatment on Friday . It's my long day so I will be able to write more than . I am ready for my 3rd nap but wanted to drop a line to everyone . Thanks for all of your support !

booster shot

At 1st I didn't feel better from the blood transfusion . zI thought everyone lied to me about how much better I would feel . I mean I slept the whole 2 days away after . I felt just as sluggish and drained as I did before it . Well I then went in on Friday and they check my counts and they were way up but I still felt way down WTF ! The nurse told me my bodt was most likely useing that energy to accept the blood . I then was given the miracle shot in my belly . I don't know what was in it but about 3 hours after it , oh yeah ! WEeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!

The nurse told me to still give my body a few days before being around people so today is the 1st day that I get human contact other than my family in almost 2 weeks ! I'm so excited to see people . I missed my friends wedding that was yesterday =( , a birthday party on Friday and a bbq on Thursday . I might not stay long at stuff but it is still fun to get out of the house .

In the last week and a half I have watched 2 seasons of Dexter and half a season of Spartacus . I would walk around in circles around the coffee table and get tired haha . I had to move though laying around all day makes the muscles tight and sore . I also have a stretching regimine that I have to do or my whole body wants to go decrepide . I'm afraid my hair will grow back gray and between the decrepidness and the hair people with mistake me for some old lady .

Blood transfusion

Well today I sit in T.G. on the 4th floor getting a blood transfusion . I find it weird and kinda gross . I think of blood as a personal thing . I mean it runs through my veins my heart it helps power my thoughts , when mad it boils , when scorned by someone it turns cold , when in love it tingles the rest of the senses making knees go weak . I know it sounds dumb that out of all the stuff I have had to have done to me in the last 8 months that this one is the one that bothers me the most . The nurses have done a good job making me feel better about the whole deal . Even though I still have my reserves about the whole thing .

I understand the expression blue blood better now also . The blood I was given today looked almost purple-ish . The lady next to me had a blueish tint to it . I asked her what her blood type was ( I can't remember now ) but it was different then mine . So I am curious if different blood types have different hues to them .... the mind reels ....

Chemo coma

Well I have slept almost the whole entire last week away . No matter what I do I feel like I am about to pass out . I hate it . I cant get anything done . I was going to go to a wedding reception on Sunday , slept through the whole thing . It like I fall into a coma or something as soon as I fall asleep .

In news in the small . Mom and Dad are preparing for a huge spaghetti feed at their house . Sister has been over there helping a lot . I can't do much in their house . It tires me out after about the 3rd trip up or down the stairs , I need about a 2 hour nap . So I did small stuff folded laundry , loaded dish washer , and made lunch .

Mom is almost more than 3/4 ths done with the deck !! It looks amazing !! She has had some help from various people over the last month but for the most part she has done most of it herself . I hope I have that much energy ..... anytime soon ! =)

SCCA with mom ......

Karyn thought she might have to work this Friday so I took that and found someone else who could afford a whole day off and kinda needed one , my mom . Sister was beside herself . She looks and me and exclaims " Now I miss out on the movie !! " . I forget sometimes it's all about her . haha .

I reminded Mom at least 4 times " what time are you ogoing to pick me up ? " she would say "6:30 " Now this is important because mom has been known to not go to bed until then . Well she was at a friends house with dad having a ball . Mom normally does not drink but she had the idea that if she had a few glasses that she would be out like a light . Well her theory was right . Still slightly groggy she stammered her way through the house looking for her purse , keys , computer , AND cellphone . At 6;45 I call the house to find out if she has left . Dad replies sheepishly " She left 5 minutes ago ! " . I sit out on the porch for 10 minutes waiting for her . She shows up , I get in the car and she launches into her excuse like a 15 who came home late . We start down the street well at the end of the block she makes a left instead of a right . I said why are we going this way she said " I don't have my computer ! " I shoot her this look like you have got to be KIDDING ME ! Then she turns onto 6th I thought she did this for she knows how much I hate the road on Union . NOPE she needed to get gas ! I had given her 20 bucks the night before and reminded her that she should stop on her way to home depot . I give her my look again , She says that she didn't have time . Dad was yanking at her to hurry because they were going to late for dinner . Well she has me call dad when we hit 21st street so he could bring out her computer .

Well I kinda have that panic feeling when you wake up late and you look at the time and realize that you have to be at work in 5 minutes . I hate that feeling ! It's completly inocent but you can't help but have that pain in your gut . Mom drove and she might of even sped . I won't say if she did or didn't but I made my blood draw with only being 10 minutes late . She made it up here in about 25 minutes ! haha go mom !

IN the treatment room mom kicks back in the recliner and now is snoring next to me . Like I said she needed a day off . She has been kicking butt working on the deck . It is looking amezing ! I can't wait to see it all done . With her new post and all of dads tomato plants . IT should look good , real good .

Wow almost a month .... sorry

I haven't been a very good blogger lately sorry . I would think about it but then when I would start I would just feel drained or writters block . It sometimes is a challenge for me to do stuff . hnkcvx ( that was Raini saying " Meow " to you all .)

I made through this last round of treatment feeling a bit more drained than normal . After a few days of only sleeping I started to feel better . I even felt good enough to attend the 6th art walk . It was a nice day and I went with people that were willing to go at my pace . It can be a hard thing to do for some . On the ave I was excited to see people I normally don't get to see .

This last weekend I went with 22 other fabulous ladies to Moclips and rented a beach house had a bon fire , made smores , went to the casino , watched sis and lolo on the go-carts , went to the grocery store ( bawhahaha way better than walmart watching it was like condensed walmart you will have to see for yourself ) got my but kicked alll weekend in spite and malice , and a lil in cribbage . The other girls ran around did their hair ( tear ) , Donna gave a make-up class and sold some Mary Kay . The food was awesome ! Had some monkey bread for the 1st time it was good !!! In my opinion the only thing it needed was peacans then I might of stole the pan and locked my self in the bedroom till it was all gone !
Had great conversations met one of the funniest girls I think I have met in years SQUIRREL !!!! Bonded with some charished friends and made some new great memories ! Got to know a few of the other ladies better and even had a chance to make a new friend or two .

While all of that was a blast ! I have spent the last few days recoping . I would say in the activity department I didn't do much but in the socializing aspect of things I did a ton ! I never realized how draining it was for me . I felt kinda bad we were all standing arouind talking about the weekend and all the sudden my inner " turkey is done button " poped out and I looked at the girls and said it's time ! I kinda felt like a 5 year old .

I have my long treatment this friday and I am going up to Seattle with mom . She plans on doing something to computer while I get treatment . We shall see how it goes .